Self-confidence affects just about every aspect of our lives and often spills into some aspect of coaching sessions. Sometimes clients struggle with their perceived ability or intelligence while other times it’s about measuring up to some bar or standard that they’ve imposed upon themselves. Regardless of the topic…or the reason…increasing your self-confidence inevitably increases your engagement in life. In other words, if you feel that you “nailed it” you have more energy to carry forward and as it builds upon itself, you will increase your capacity to see opportunity while decrease some of the energy sapping negative self-talk that sabotages opportunity. Starting to work on your self-confidence can have dramatic affects on your work and your life – creating more opportunity for work/life balance. To get you started, I’ve compiled this four step strategy that can propel your confidence and your energy.
1. Self-inventory: All change begins with an inventory of where things are now. Jot down things that you truly feel confident in and then those that you are currently challenged with. Take a moment to sit with the topics you feel “on your game” about. What does it feel like to “feel confident”? Do you sit up taller? Is there a sense of wanting to move? Does it inspire energized and/or positive feelings about that topic? Then, imagine what it would feel like if you could connect with those feelings about the categories you are challenged by.
2. Visualize: Visualize what opportunities might open up for you by being confident with the topics you are challenged by. Could it lead to hitting a home run on a task? Possibly a promotion? Maybe a desired date? Might it affect your self image through things like losing weight or being in shape? Could it get you closer to a dream you have? In effect, what are the possibilities that exist if that topic moves from the “challenged” side of your list to the “nailed it” side of your list?
3. Define Attributes: Now choose three of your strongest qualities as a person. These three things can be anything you want…anything that you feel confident about. For example, I use logical, leadership and collaborative. Yours could be absolutely anything; compassionate, smart, ambitious, kind, aware…any words that you think describe you in just about anything you do. I call these “core components of who you are” and because these are core, we are most likely very confident about them.
4. Plant the seed: Devise a couple of trials that are related to the challenge you are addressing and deploy your attributes. For example, I recently chatted with a client who needed to reduce an employee’s hours. She procrastinated on having the conversation because she was uncertain about how the employee would react – a perfect opportunity for her to practice confidence around possible disappointment so, she apprehensively scheduled the meeting (giving her a deadline) and then before the meeting she took a moment to remind herself that she would remain committed to being understanding, compassionate and helpful (her three core attributes). The end result was that the meeting went amazingly well and not only were her business needs met but the employee also realized that he’d have more time to do the things that he wanted to accomplish in life. It was a true win-win.
You too will find that this simple strategy can kick start your journey to improving self-confidence and help you LiveAlive!